Mentoring Voices

Throughout our lives, we encounter many voices that compete for our attention and shape our sense of self. Some of these voices linger long after they are spoken, their words embedding themselves so deeply within us that we find ourselves replaying them over and over, often unconsciously. The weight of their messages can become destructive, undermining our confidence and diminishing our sense of worth. Whether these words come from others or arise from within, they can have a powerful hold, echoing in our minds and influencing our actions and beliefs in ways we may not immediately recognize.

For many years, I spoke harshly to myself—words I would never dream of directing at another person. I internalized negative things said by others, allowing them to become part of my identity. This emotional baggage weighed me down, convincing me that the hurtful things I’d heard were true. I developed a defensive strategy: “I’ll say the cruel things about myself before anyone else can.” This distorted belief was a way to shield myself from anticipated pain, but in reality, it only reinforced my insecurities. Caught up in a relentless cycle of “what ifs” and negative self-talk, I began to mistake the toxic narrative in my head for my own authentic voice. Ultimately, I started believing that the only way to escape the pain was to silence myself altogether.

My journey toward healing started with intensive counseling and, more importantly, with messages God sent me during this difficult season. I realized that in order to break free from these harmful patterns, I needed to identify and separate the voices in my mind. I decided to give my toxic inner critic a name—Sebastian—to make it distinct from my true self. Naming this internal saboteur was not about hearing multiple voices; rather, it was about recognizing the source of negative thoughts and understanding they did not define me. Many of us experience fleeting negative thoughts—“I look terrible,” for instance—often triggered by others’ opinions or past experiences. While some people can dismiss these thoughts, others, like me, accept them as truth, which can be deeply damaging.

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.”  John 10:27

By giving my toxic voice a name, I was finally able to distinguish between my own voice, the voice of negativity, and, most importantly, the voice of God. This act of naming was transformative. It gave me the space to reclaim my own voice and stopped me from feeling like I needed to disappear or remain silent to avoid pain. I began to see that there was a healthier way forward—one where I could confront my insecurities, challenge the lies I’d believed, and embrace the truth about who I am.

It was during this time, as I started writing a devotional about my identity in Christ, that I truly began to experience healing. Through writing, I found clarity and rediscovered my authentic voice and identity. God’s words of affirmation and love began to replace the destructive messages that had filled my mind for so long. His voice became louder and more powerful than the voice of self-doubt. As I leaned into His truth, I was no longer bound by the belief that my worth was negotiable or dependent on others’ opinions.

I now invite you to reflect: What false narratives are you carrying that God wants to replace with His truth? For me, the core lie was that my value and significance were uncertain—that they could be debated or diminished. But God’s word tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, that we are His masterpiece, created for good works.

“For You formed my inward parts, You knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well”. Psalm 139:13-14 ESV “For we are His workmanship (masterpiece), created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”  Ephesians 2:10

Today, I encourage you to listen carefully: Whose voice is mentoring you—the loving voice of God, or that toxic voice of the deceiver? The answer shapes not only how you see yourself but how you live your life.

Labels, names, or toxic beliefs all float around in our heads