Encouragement: A Building Up

Encouragement is one of the most powerful gifts we can offer to others, yet it’s often overlooked or withheld. We’ve all heard the phrase, “A friend in need is a friend indeed,” but that friendship is only genuine if it uplifts rather than tears down. Reflecting on my own journey, I’ve realized that failing to encourage others is all too common—especially in my own life. This is not about pointing fingers at others, but about recognizing the times I haven’t been the supportive friend I could be. The truth is, encouragement isn’t just a casual gesture; it’s a vital act of kindness that helps others rise above their challenges.

Sometimes, what we need is a wake-up call—a push to help us see things differently. But without encouragement to recognize the good within us, that push can send someone down a negative path. We all need guidance, a “road map” to navigate life, and for some of us, a brighter “headlamp” to light the way. Ask yourself: in the lives of those around you, are you guiding them toward destruction or are you shining a light that helps them find their way to God and goodness?

Just as any meaningful journey requires preparation, so does encouragement. It isn’t about crafting the perfect speech or delivering a rehearsed message. True encouragement begins with prayer and a sincere heart. It starts with asking, “Lord, show me who needs encouragement,” then moves to, “How can I help them?” and finally, “Let my words reflect Your love.” Too often, I think I know exactly what someone else needs to hear—maybe you do, too? But it’s humbling and eye-opening when we realize how off-base we can be. Would it surprise you to hear how your words are received by others? Sometimes, the impact is very different from what we intended.

I’ve been on the receiving end of well-meaning words that failed to encourage. Instead of feeling understood or supported, I was left focusing even more on what was wrong, unable to see any hope. That mindset led me deeper into depression—a place where negative thoughts took control. What I needed was validation from a friend: someone who could say, “I see you and understand.” Instead, I got messages that only deepened my shame, making me feel my problems weren’t significant. That lack of encouragement can be devastating. We all need someone who listens and lifts us up, not someone who minimizes our struggles.

“Therefore, let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.  So then Let us purse what make for peace and for mutual upbuilding” Romans 14:13, 19

Words spoken at the wrong time or in the wrong way can become stumbling blocks, hindering our ability to hear anything else. When love is tainted by poor delivery, it loses its power to uplift and can even push someone further into despair. I found myself unable to act positively, caught in the web of negative thoughts because the encouragement I needed was missing. It’s a reminder that the way we deliver encouragement is just as important as the message itself.

Scripture urges us again and again to encourage one another, and I believe this is for a very good reason. God knows that life can be difficult and that many of us will struggle. He knows we need encouragement—the kind that builds us up and helps us discover His truth: that we are loved, valued, and deeply known. Let’s choose to be the friend who offers genuine encouragement, who helps light the way instead of adding to the burden. In doing so, we live out God’s calling, helping each other find peace and mutual upbuilding, just as Romans teaches us.

“Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.”  Romans 15:2

Words are either a light to His place or the other place, where are YOUR words directing